I was born in the United States. I thought I would live there for the rest of my life. But in 2003 I moved to Germany. I didn’t speak German. I felt lonely. Sometimes I hated being here.
Now, I feel confident and very satisfied with my life here. I use German everyday in personal and professional settings. I understand many things about German culture and how things work here.
In 2007 I asked myself, “what do I want to do with the rest of my life?” The answer was Nürnberg Counseling. Already by the age of 25, I provided counseling in a school for young people, and provided coaching in my work in the United States. Since 2007, I have supported hundreds of people in my office and online.
Couples come to me because they are experiencing conflicts, and they are not able to talk with each in a productive way. My goal is to help them communicate with each other and find solutions based on what they each want and don’t want in the relationship. I use Cooperative Communication as a basic model for helping them find ways to productively and successfully talk about difficult subjects: money, children, sex, and even ending the relationship. I work with all types of couples, often where they have different native languages, countries where they come from, sexual and gender identities, and other differences between them that can create difficulties in communication.
In terms of individual clients, I mostly work with men. I really enjoy supporting men, exploring what they want in their relationships and in their lives. We talk about feelings, love, sex, the meaning of life, and more.
Whether I am working with a couple or a man, I am optimistic when it comes to
personal change – I believe that people can change – I have personally experienced some amazing changes in my life and in the lives of my clients. You can learn more here: What Can I Change in Therapy?
In my work with clients, I draw on several sources of expertise, theory, and experience: Transactional Analysis (TA), cultural diversity and discrimination, Buddhism, 12 step programs of recovery from addiction, and my own life experience. I am not rigid in any approach. I use what I think might be useful for you, and then ask for feedback, to see what is helpful for you.
I was in therapy on and off for many years with very skilled psychologists and
psychotherapists, including Dr. Clarissa Pinkola Estés, Terry Hunt, and Dr. Josephine Bowens Lewis. Sometimes I repeat things to my clients that Clarissa, Terry, and Jo said to me.
As an organizational consultant in the United States, I studied TA and worked with some extraordinary women and people of color, many of whom were psychologists. We helped individuals, teams, and organizations find solutions to problems related to cultural differences and discrimination. As a white man, I often coached other white men in understanding and dealing with racism and sexism.
Over 20 years ago, I began a daily practice in meditation, and have attended many one week and even 3 week long silent meditation retreats. My personal experience with addiction in a 12 step program has been invaluable, I would even say I am grateful for my experience with addiction.
To read some of my writings, including excepts from my book about learning German -- Losing My Voice and Finding Another: learning a second language, go to "My Publications".
To read what others have said about me, go to "Comments from Clients".